What a day!

I woke up this morning and my shoulder was killing me. I must have slept wrong on. On top of that I had and still have a migraine. Some people would say oh thats bad enough, but oh no, my day gets worse from there.

I call to make an appointment with another mechanic to fix my car. I talked to him and explained my whole situation and he tells me that from the sounds he will have to take out my transmission to find the problem. And it will be next week before he can get to me bacause he got behind from the bad weather and the holidays. Ok I understand, but dammit that means I will be without a car for atleast 2 weeks. Oh man this sucks having to depend on others for rides and I can't just go somewhere because I want or need to go, I am going to have to either borrow a vehicle or bum a ride.

I get to work and my computer decides it is still not ready for it to be Monday and just sits there and beeps at me for like an hour and a half. On top of that it is the 3rd of the month which means all the disability people get their checks which means busy crazy day for work. So not a day to be having computer problems.

My brother decides it will be funny to call me and say that he had called another mechanic to come look at my car and he said that I need a new transmission and clutch. All I could do is cry so he then tells me that he is joking. The only thing I could do was tell him to go F*ck himself and hang up. Thank goodness he was only joking (I hope he doesn't jinx me)

My boss told me that the supervisor told her to tell me not to count on a bonus for December because I took the time off while J was home for R & R. Sorry I am in a postion that I don't have to work, so I sure as hell wasn't going to work while he was home. I think its kind of crappy though. I was there for part of the month, I don't think I deserve the bonus for the whole month, but I do think I deserve something. I did my job the days I was there. Oh well I wouldn't have changed the fact I took the time off if I would have known.

It is just one of those days that I wish J was home. Not sure what he could do to make it better, but it sure would be nice to have him wrap his arms around me and just hold me and tell me that everything is going to be alright. If he could just be here to help me deal with everything so I don't have to depend on everyone else to do this or that for me.

I know this is irrational, but it is days like this that I get so mad at him for being gone. I know that if given a choice he would rather be here with me. I also know all the reasons for him to enlist and it was not a decision that we took lightly and I knew the consequences of marrying a man that had enlisted in the military, but dammit I think I deserve to get pissed off unfortunately I know I am getting p/oed at the wrong person. Its just so much easier to be mad at him than someone else because he can't back talk or do something to make me more mad (Unless I look at the bank account and see he went on a shopping spree), I also don't have to worry about saying something that I would regret and I don't have to apologize for being irrational. It is good thing he knew all my faults and still decided to take me as I am.